Falling Down

I did not see God but I am pretty sure I died the eve before our Halloween party in 2010. The weather comfortably warm for October, invited me to enjoy the late evening hour on our porch.  The decorations surpassed spooky greatness of years past and I sipped my wine, enjoying my accomplishments.

A light breeze showed the large spider web in the corner breaking off at center, prompting me to stand on one of the plastic chairs to fix it.

I opened my eyes blinking, not knowing where I was, pretty sure I laid in my bed next to my husband. But I peered at my driveway still not grasping what had happened. I wasn’t cold, but rather comfortable until I tried to move my legs. Laying on my right side, I took in the night, realising I was not in my warm bedroom, I began to panick. Lifting my head, dried blood held my hair to the cement.

It took about fifteen minutes before I became mobile, my body numb I began to slowly crawl up the steps to the front door. Funny, my thoughts at this time, not wanting to bleed all over my entrance way, holding my face, the blood collecting in the palms of my hands.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, my reflection deemed brutal. In shock, I believed I could wash the ugliness away, my nose would heal from the wide bleeding gash. The more I wiped the blood away, the more it poured down my face. I calmly walked into my bedroom where my husband slept.

“Whats wrong? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” And I crawled into bed.
“You don’t sound fine” His voice concerned, made me turn away in embarrassment.

I lay there for a few seconds before blood engulfed my pillow. “Honey, I fell and I think we need to go to the hospital”

I look back and know that I passed. I didn’t see Angels or Jesus, all I know I was not afraid, I was calm, the peace inviting. It wasn’t my time and I didn’t even break any of my teeth. Although my face took many months to heal, I feel a calmness knowing death is not to be feared and I will never be afraid to die. There is a place to go.

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